I’ve always felt peace in cemeteries. Now, I don’t want to be IN one, but visit them frequently. This section marker is at a local one. I just wish life, in general, was as good at marking where to find it.
Peace has always been elusive for me. I strive to reach it but, in the process, end up further away. Peace to me isn’t living without conflict, it’s knowing everything is OK AFTER the conflict is resolved. It’s learning FROM the conflict and passing on what you learned to others.
Doing it in my personal life hasn’t found much success, achieving it professionally, even less. I’m hot and cold. I think I’m making headway, only to take three steps back. It’s frustrating.
For now I’m doing some trainings. This week I’m doing one for some area therapists, and I’ve scheduled 3 additional classes for the rest of the year. It’s something. Not the worklife I’m looking for, but, there’s been times when it was much worse.
So, continue to get things in place. That’s all I can hope for.
I decided that this evening I had to write, again. My son went out and took his dog with him, so i had some free time. I need to do something good with it, instead of focusing on the boob tube. I came to the garden to write.
The past 6 months have been HARD. I found out I messed up the non-profit application with the IRS. Fixable, but expensive. My son tire his Achilles tendon and missed a lot of work, no paid time off. Lots of stuff went on high interest credit cards, that i was thankful to have available. Expensive. Then i had two rounds of covid. Not expensive, thank you government, but hard on my already damaged body. Then my son couldn’t find a full-time position after completing his teaching position. Expensive, once again.
So, this weekend I threw myself a pity party. I cried and cried. Then I reached out to several people who I had to explain what was going on. One resulted in a consulting job and the other cleared up a misunderstanding on a job I completed and I will get some compensation.
Lessons learned. When times get rough, cry and move on. Sometimes the universe wants to help.
Join Me is about community engagement in the reduction of domestic violence. Why? Because most people who either perpetrate or are victimized rarely seek treatment or services from the designated authorities, therapists or batterer’s intervention providers. But, they live amongst us.
The community offers the necessary connections for sustained solutions. How? Businesses can identify and refer. Not fire abusers, that does no good for anyone. Not terminate the victim needing to go to court or shelter. Schools see the affects of victimization in their students and parent interactions. Landlords, do, too, but, far too often now enter into agreements with the city to end leases with those who have too much police contact, even when they are calling for help.
So, community has the key. As shown below, the Community Accountability Model offers guidelines. But how to engage people. Our new project. I’ve gotten blank puzzle pieces where I will be asking everyone I come in contact with to envision their “piece of the peace”. Through words or doodles I’m asking for their role. I will get contact information to send them the progress of the puzzle, as it comes together. Ready newsletter email list.
My dear sister-in-law brought me a gift yesterday, a handmade stained glass dream catcher. Isn’t she talented? I am amazed at what all she creates. She crochets some of the most intricate patterns I’ve seen. And she gladly gives.
We met back up on Facebook after both leaving the brothers that joined us. She has given me a lot of hours more than what she signed onto when she became one of my personal assistants, several years ago. This is just one example.
So, I’m going to honor this gift by working on catching my dream. It is so nice to have a beautiful reminder. Thank you, Terry!
When I announced that Join Me had received non-profit status approval from the IRS, my son suggested this would be a good jumping off point. We talked and decided that a concentrated effort to get the name and concept into the community would be the best strategy. Then the planning starts. The first 100 days…
What will it look like? Within 100 days, 100 different “categories” will receive direct contact. 100: Women; Men; Professionals; Businesses, Peace Vision Puzzle. When you write it out it doesn’t feel like a lot. Then you start trying to get it started.
The Peace Vision Puzzle will be a table activity where blank puzzle pieces will be available for people to write or draw their peace vision on it, then all the pieces will be combined to develop a commUnity vision. 100 pieces within 100 days.
I’m on day 16. I better get going. What I’ve done so far isn’t a lot, its the planning. Not always my strongest asset. I like doing and looking back afterwards with a little bit of evaluation. That was then, this is now.
I’ve spoken at length with my physical therapist and her intern about what their response should be if they suspect that someone they are working with is being victimized. I’m creating an infogram to send her and ask for her to share. I actually start at another location this week and will do the same there. 2 down, professionals, 98 to go. Yes both were women, but I was sharing professional responsibility. I’ve been working with 3 professionals for a possible program in August. 3 more. 95 to go.
This week is men’s group, 15 scheduled, sometimes even with a group this big, maybe only 5 or 6 will show up. But, no matter what, community healing will be a new concept included. I am scheduled to have a table at the Collinsville VFW on September 5th. I’m working on a table activity for bringing the members to work with Join Me in future collaborations.
100 Businesses. My head hasn’t started coming to terms with this component. Definitely needs to be addressed. I do know that I want to talk to some of the local non-profits to start a needs assessment. What’s going good; what’s missing? Community education feels like a hole now, but maybe that’s just me.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2020 begins this week. The year’s 20/20 vision needs to be clear: create a sustainable social system which reduces further victimization. This year the pandemic trapped many in their home with their abuser and resources were out of reach. We need better resolutions before the next societal catastrophe. This needs to fuel our vision.
Join Me at the Table (Jmatt for short) will work through the theory of the 7 C’s of Social Change: Consciousness, Congruence, Committment, Collaboration, Common purpose, Controversy with Civility, and Citizenship. This week will explain each C, the remainder will show why each is needed to proceed.
Jmatt knows that an eighth C is needed, a therapeutic Community. These steps will take us to this necessity. There is work to do. Let’s go.
How many people are feeling like i am right now? Needing peace, a calm but are worried that every calm just is felt right before the storm?
It seems like the storms are everywhere. Families, social media, neighborhoods, in our own heads. Storms everywhere.
I decided that, for today, social media is on a hiatus, a much needed break. I can wait to know what devious acts are coming down from Washington. I can find out on Monday who got drunk tonight. I normally can even not care about what everyone is having for dinner. Unless I want the recipe, or the store where they bought it. Today it is flowers and garden growth.
I needed to see this interpretation of the Jewish faith’s understanding of the afterlife. I had read that “rest in peace” or “rest in power” were inappropriate, but was left wanting for something to feel. Then I saw this…
“There’s a few posts going around reminding folks that since RBG is Jewish, the proper thing to say about her passing is “May her memory be for blessing,” which is true, but I wanted to add a bit of perspective on what that means.
Jewish tradition does not focus on the afterlife. There are a few thoughts on what happens when we go, some of which look a bit like reincarnation, and some of which looks like time to reevaluate our actions and relationships on earth, but for the most part, the whole “Do good things, get good reward from God; do bad things, get bad punishment from God” is just not part of our worldview. (Spoiler alert: this is why I love The Good Place so much- the final season feels very in line with Jewish thoughts on the afterlife.)
When Jews speak of righteousness, it is never with the idea of an eternal reward. We work to be good humans to others and ourselves because justice and peace are their own rewards. We don’t know what happens next, but we know what happens here, and that is enough. The pursuit of justice is one of the highest callings of Judaism, and it should not be misinterpreted as vengeance or punishment. The ideas of justice and sustainability are inextricably linked in Judaism. A system that is unjust cannot sustain, and a system that is unsustainable cannot be just.
It is said that a person who passes on Rosh Hashona is a Tzedek/Tzaddeket, a good and righteous person. When we speak of tzedakah, the word is often translated as “charity” but it is more accurate to say righteousness. Tzedakah can take many forms (including monetary donation) but it’s important to note that tzedakah is not a benevolent contribution given to be kind or nice to those who need it, it is to be viewed as a balancing of the scales, an active working towards justice. To use a simple example, one should donate to the local food bank not to gain favor with God, or to be nice to those with less than ourselves, but because it is unjust for anyone to be without food, especially while others have plenty. Correcting injustice, balancing the scales, evaluating the distribution of power and creating equity is tzedakah, the work of righteousness.
Similar to Maslow’s (imperfect) hierarchy of needs, Maimonides wrote in the Middle Ages of eight levels of Tzedakah, the highest of which results in self sufficiency, or rather, an act that creates a sustainable form of justice. “Teaching a man to fish” is an extremely reductionist view of this idea, but it’s a start- the real meat of it is the idea that charity is good, but eliminating the need for charity is better. (i.e. Tax the billionaires so we can have universal healthcare instead of praising the rich for building hospitals with their names on them.)
The second highest form is where both the giver and the receiver are unknown to each other. This allows both for the dignity of the recipient, and for the giver to be free from personal motivation and reward. In other words, we should help create a more just world for the benefit of people we don’t know, without the expectation of praise, gratitude, or reward, in this life or the next.
When we say that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a tzaddeket (the feminine form of tzaddik) we don’t just mean she was a nice person. What we’re saying is that she was a thoughtful person who worked tirelessly to create a more just world. One that would perpetuate equality and access, one that wasn’t reliant on charity, one that was better for people she did not know, without the expectation of praise or fame. THAT is what it means to be a Tzaddeket, and I can’t think of anyone who better embodies the pursuit of justice.
When we say “may her memory be for blessing” the blessing we speak of is not “may we remember her fondly” or “may her memory be a blessing to us” the blessing implied is this: May you be like Ruth. Jewish thought teaches us that when a person dies, it is up to those who bear her memory to keep her goodness alive. We do this my remembering her, we do this by speaking her name, we do this by carrying on her legacy. We do this by continuing to pursue justice, righteousness, sustainability.
So when you hear us say “May her memory be for blessing” don’t hear “It’s nice to remember her”– hear “It’s up to us to carry on her legacy.” When you hear us say, “She was a Tzaddeket” don’t hear “She was a nice person”– hear “She was a worker of justice.”
May her memory be for blessing. May her memory be for revolution. May we become a credit to her name.
*special thanks to the linguists and Hebrew speakers in the comments section who helped me out!
Performing with three strings. 