and out of my funk.
I have been gone a while. From here, from the world. If I am honest, and why should I be anything else here? Right? Who would I be lying to? What benefit does it have?
Well, apparently, lying has been a valuable coping skill for me. “How are you feeling? ” Great! “What do you want to do?” “Oh, anything is ok, you choose.” On and on. What’s wrong with that? Maybe I should just be happy talking to anyone, and people expect me to have a new problem every day, or at least one a week. Isn’t going anywhere better than home?
Damn it, NO! I am becoming an old woman in spirit much faster than I need to. My broken string is depression, most of the previous posts have an underlying hint of depression, too.
I need to list the positives, now.
- I have been going to the YMCA three times a week for over two months, except for when I was in the hospital or recovering.
- I am not hurting anymore from the automobile accident.
- I have art supplies that are screaming to be used.
- My SSDI check is deposited in 2 days.
- I have recruited two guest writers for the Peacework Consulting Facebook page.
- I am now able to stand up from the car seat about 70% of the time, independently.
- I am able to lift myself out of the wheelchair 90% of the time.
- I showered yesterday with no anxiety attack.
- I gathered some of the branches into the recycling box by myself.
- I’m acknowledging that I, yes me, can and will notice the things I am confronting head on.
I am truly my own worst enemy. I have talent and information the world needs to have. Yes, a dandelion is a weed, but it certainly has learned to ensure that that here will always be more next year. Some people view people like me irritating. Too bad, I am figuring out a way to prosper into the future, too. Get ready for it. It will be worth it.