Continuing to continue

Like so many times before, I feel as if “continuing to continue” is the best I can do. It feels like there is progress occurring. Last week there were two very good programs, one at my alma mater, SIU-E, and at a church in Illinois for its women’s ministry. Next week I speak for the commencement at Starkloff Disability Services for the Career Academy, another alma mater, and have arranged a meeting with the local parole agency to attempt to begin the batterers program, independently. The gentleman sounded interested. I took several opportunities for training, one for the business on email campaigns and several others trying to complete the requirements for ICDVP. Not an easy task right now

It’s important to remember, myself included, that the tortoise won the race. Eventually. I’m keeping my hopes up.

A gave up for a little bit

A few weeks ago I gave up on my vision of the non-profit. I didn’t get any leeway from the IRS for the error on the application. I don’t have the $500 to re-file. I got frustrated.

I went around the house and took down everything Join Me. The bulletin board with my goals. The planning poster. The scattered post it notes. All of it gone. I actually felt good about it.

At the same time I was experiencing a lot of symptoms of my multiple sclerosis. I was having lots of problems walking at all. I could barely stand up from my chair. I messaged my neurologist. I cried. I changed my diet. I started trying to move in my chair a bit more. I made sure I used my pumps everyday. I tried to get centered.

I found my drive. While not strong as I can be, I’m getting up out of my wheelchair 9 times out of 10, by myself. (I have to think about it, but I’m doing it!) I can walk a little bit, most of the time, a couple of times a day I’m doing pretty good.

And, today I got back to Join Me. I started messaging journalists from around the area, because we’ve had several murders. Damn. I started what I needed to do to complete a book I’ve been working on for YEARS! I then opened up my PayPal and found out that a friend sent me $200 to help with the mistake. $300 more to get. So I looked around the house and found a few things to list and sell. I reworked next month’s budget and found another $150. If the things sell, I will only need another $100. That I will put on a card.

I got my MOJO back.

And I was asked to give the commencement speech for the next class at the Starkloff Career Academy. Last week I wanted to back out. Today I researched speeches. Excited.

Learning, learning, learning

Taking an online course on advertising small businesses by video. Trying to remind myself to run my non-profit like a for-profit while maintaining a conscious and using the funds appropriately. Money is a tool which allows the work to be done. Working with nothing in the bank isn’t all its wrote up to be, lol.

Keeping on

I have been researching how to deal with the problem of the non-profit status that I truly believe is an issue from the IRS. I posted about the misclassification on a non-profit Facebook page and had 7 responses. Five have had the same problem. I have a problem with the fact that it costs three times the initial filing fee to correct the issue and all it takes is myself going online and filing another form. I also think the initial application should have been denied because, they felt I described a foundation, yet in the form I specifically said Join Me would NOT be granting monies to agencies, the definition of a foundation.

I have researched, and have a plan moving forward. Wish me luck. I have compiled 50 grants that fit the mission. I have work which needs to be done. It will take all the positive energy to get it done.

Waiting…Waiting…

I contacted my Senator, Tammy Duckworth, to ask for assistance with my conundrum with the IRS. I cannot afford the cost to rectify the error. I hope there is some way to reduce the cost. In the meantime I’m finishing up some projects for Join Me that I’ve been putting off and a few other things I might be able to get some money from, like creating a cookbook from my grandmother’s vegan recipes. Trying to create these numerous income streams people talk about.

Gotta keep going.

Mad only at myself

A short post today. On the application I submitted for non-profit status I checked the wrong box. It caused Join Me to be a foundation, not a charity. To correct costs $700. Mind you it is no where near that cost to apply. Asked if I can just cancel and reapply. “Well that would raise all kinds of red flags”.

Always have someone check your work. Don’t be as full of yourself as I am.

Join Me is defunct for now.

Catching up with October

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I had personal expectations of posting daily here what I did daily on my Facebook page, Join Me at the Table. I’m going to try and catch up.

Daily I did recaps of my project, Spotlight on Survivors. Day one, I did myself.

Day1DVAM2021

I stepped up first for this year’s project. When I was thinking about the interview questions I was reminded how long ago this young lady existed. This was 1977, right after high school graduation, college freshman, not where I wanted to be, but where I was. My beau was freshly home from USMC boot camp, we were both different, but tied to the past.

At this point there was no actual abuse, but it wasn’t a healthy relationship. We were both from dysfunctional homes, some good therapy would have done us both some good. Fast forward a few years and we were married, 2 babies, not enough money, lots of family drama and we were embedded in a very dangerous place.

So, answers to the interview with myself.

We were together for 12 years, dated about 3, married for 9, but only lived together for 2. (Couldn’t afford a divorce) The violence peaked in year 2 of the marriage. It needs to be remembered that this was long before there were laws against domestic violence, I didn’t ever call the police because of his family’s history with the police and my belief that police came to “bad homes” and I wanted to be a “good family”. The tactics were physical, emotional, and financial. I never sought any help from anyone. A family member saw bruises around my neck at one point but accepted a stupid excuse I gave without a second thought, quickly left.

Yes, the violence continued after we separated. But, the last significant physical attack led me to an opportunity to be successful apart. I went into work after a bad fight. My supervisor made me talk to the police so I didn’t say a resident at the nursing home beat me up. To say I was mad is an understatement. But, she also called a neighbor, in the middle of the night, to ask her to hire me at a local hospital. It happened the next day. My salary went up almost half. Me self esteem got the increase I needed.

So, what did I need to hear, to have?

Affordable housing and divorce options. I had no way of making either of those happen because, without a divorce, I had no child support. My kids and I had no insurance, and food was mostly supplied by family members. To be honest, I manipulated public assistance, several times.

But, before any of this, I needed education on relationships. What I lived in the shadow of as a child wasn’t healthy. Not violent, but far from healthy. I needed to have names given to what I was feeling.

Because of this is why I focused so much energy in schools. I hoped to give some words, not only to the students, but also to teachers in the room so they know they make a difference in the kid’s lives.

So, know, bosses, you can help. Know teachers, your input is valuable. Landlords, try and help those needing out. Family, reach out.

Day 2 will discuss resources.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

This past month I’ve been interviewing survivors and businesses throughout the country trying to find where we need to go now. Stay tuned for these guidelines, truths.

Asking for action

Anyone who is reading my blog, I have a favor. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and this is the perfect year to get involved. People are talking about DV now due to Gabby Petito’s death. Why her? I really have no idea. She’s not the first pretty young lady killed this year, or even this month. But she was and the country is watching.

This next month, post something on social media about the National Domestic Violence Hotline, phone number 1-800-799-SAFE. Post your local service provider’s number. Come back and share.

The person you help may never tell you but will be thankful.

First community event!

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Kids dreaming about their “piece of the peace”.

Finally occurred. First community event. Join Me had a table at a regional Peace Festival. The project was blank puzzle pieces and attendees were asked to document, by drawing or words, what they are willing to do to create more peace. Oh the experience was phenomenal!

Our youngest was 2. Scribbled saying “heart”. Took it. One young man said peace was “a roof over his head”. He’s been homeless for several months. It was a varied group, Muslim, LGBTQ, military, Black businesses, families, teens… Exciting and the puzzle pieces were as varied.

Lots of people came over after seeing the lines. Success. I learned a long time ago that activities drive your message home. I was asked to participate in two other festivals, will wait for the email information to decide. People who I used to work with in the community came by for hugs and updates. Business cards and Join Me mission paperwork exchanged.

Two volunteers helped make the day workable, an issue I have to maneuver since I’m now dealing with working with a disability. There were more successes than problems. Yay!!!

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