Looking to join peace with mission

Mt. Hope Cemetery, Belleville, IL

I’ve always felt peace in cemeteries. Now, I don’t want to be IN one, but visit them frequently. This section marker is at a local one. I just wish life, in general, was as good at marking where to find it.

Peace has always been elusive for me. I strive to reach it but, in the process, end up further away. Peace to me isn’t living without conflict, it’s knowing everything is OK AFTER the conflict is resolved. It’s learning FROM the conflict and passing on what you learned to others.

Doing it in my personal life hasn’t found much success, achieving it professionally, even less. I’m hot and cold. I think I’m making headway, only to take three steps back. It’s frustrating.

For now I’m doing some trainings. This week I’m doing one for some area therapists, and I’ve scheduled 3 additional classes for the rest of the year. It’s something. Not the worklife I’m looking for, but, there’s been times when it was much worse.

So, continue to get things in place. That’s all I can hope for.

Time to post, time to post

My favorite blogging spot.

I get it, WordPress, I am not consistent with blogging lately. Thanks for the reminder of another thing I need to work on, lol. So, this is for today. I reminder of putting important things on my to do list instead of another television show.

Valuable lessons

I decided that this evening I had to write, again. My son went out and took his dog with him, so i had some free time. I need to do something good with it, instead of focusing on the boob tube. I came to the garden to write.

The past 6 months have been HARD. I found out I messed up the non-profit application with the IRS. Fixable, but expensive. My son tire his Achilles tendon and missed a lot of work, no paid time off. Lots of stuff went on high interest credit cards, that i was thankful to have available. Expensive. Then i had two rounds of covid. Not expensive, thank you government, but hard on my already damaged body. Then my son couldn’t find a full-time position after completing his teaching position. Expensive, once again.

So, this weekend I threw myself a pity party. I cried and cried. Then I reached out to several people who I had to explain what was going on. One resulted in a consulting job and the other cleared up a misunderstanding on a job I completed and I will get some compensation.

Lessons learned. When times get rough, cry and move on. Sometimes the universe wants to help.

A gave up for a little bit

A few weeks ago I gave up on my vision of the non-profit. I didn’t get any leeway from the IRS for the error on the application. I don’t have the $500 to re-file. I got frustrated.

I went around the house and took down everything Join Me. The bulletin board with my goals. The planning poster. The scattered post it notes. All of it gone. I actually felt good about it.

At the same time I was experiencing a lot of symptoms of my multiple sclerosis. I was having lots of problems walking at all. I could barely stand up from my chair. I messaged my neurologist. I cried. I changed my diet. I started trying to move in my chair a bit more. I made sure I used my pumps everyday. I tried to get centered.

I found my drive. While not strong as I can be, I’m getting up out of my wheelchair 9 times out of 10, by myself. (I have to think about it, but I’m doing it!) I can walk a little bit, most of the time, a couple of times a day I’m doing pretty good.

And, today I got back to Join Me. I started messaging journalists from around the area, because we’ve had several murders. Damn. I started what I needed to do to complete a book I’ve been working on for YEARS! I then opened up my PayPal and found out that a friend sent me $200 to help with the mistake. $300 more to get. So I looked around the house and found a few things to list and sell. I reworked next month’s budget and found another $150. If the things sell, I will only need another $100. That I will put on a card.

I got my MOJO back.

And I was asked to give the commencement speech for the next class at the Starkloff Career Academy. Last week I wanted to back out. Today I researched speeches. Excited.

Keeping on

I have been researching how to deal with the problem of the non-profit status that I truly believe is an issue from the IRS. I posted about the misclassification on a non-profit Facebook page and had 7 responses. Five have had the same problem. I have a problem with the fact that it costs three times the initial filing fee to correct the issue and all it takes is myself going online and filing another form. I also think the initial application should have been denied because, they felt I described a foundation, yet in the form I specifically said Join Me would NOT be granting monies to agencies, the definition of a foundation.

I have researched, and have a plan moving forward. Wish me luck. I have compiled 50 grants that fit the mission. I have work which needs to be done. It will take all the positive energy to get it done.

Waiting…Waiting…

I contacted my Senator, Tammy Duckworth, to ask for assistance with my conundrum with the IRS. I cannot afford the cost to rectify the error. I hope there is some way to reduce the cost. In the meantime I’m finishing up some projects for Join Me that I’ve been putting off and a few other things I might be able to get some money from, like creating a cookbook from my grandmother’s vegan recipes. Trying to create these numerous income streams people talk about.

Gotta keep going.

Steps to reconnect

After realizing I messed up, I decided to self advocate, for once. Again, I messed up, but for the IRS agent to say several things: 1. It happens all the time. 2. It takes a few simple clicks to submit the corrections. 3. I’ll be doing all this myself. and 4. It is more expensive to correct the problem than the initial application–I decided to reach out to my senator, Tammy Duckworth.

I explained everything, accepting responsibility. I went through how mostly I cover the costs–web site hosting, Zoom, postage, ink…–myself with my SSDI, I have no idea how I will get the funds to correct it. I spoke to her clerk on Friday afternoon. He said the IRS is notoriously slow so it will take at least a few weeks. No promises, but will try.

I can’t ask for anything more.

First community event!

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Kids dreaming about their “piece of the peace”.

Finally occurred. First community event. Join Me had a table at a regional Peace Festival. The project was blank puzzle pieces and attendees were asked to document, by drawing or words, what they are willing to do to create more peace. Oh the experience was phenomenal!

Our youngest was 2. Scribbled saying “heart”. Took it. One young man said peace was “a roof over his head”. He’s been homeless for several months. It was a varied group, Muslim, LGBTQ, military, Black businesses, families, teens… Exciting and the puzzle pieces were as varied.

Lots of people came over after seeing the lines. Success. I learned a long time ago that activities drive your message home. I was asked to participate in two other festivals, will wait for the email information to decide. People who I used to work with in the community came by for hugs and updates. Business cards and Join Me mission paperwork exchanged.

Two volunteers helped make the day workable, an issue I have to maneuver since I’m now dealing with working with a disability. There were more successes than problems. Yay!!!

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Community event

Scheduled a community event today. Ordered things for the booth. If I’m being truthful, I’ve started thinking maybe I want this more than it’s actually needed. Maybe this will revive my determination. It’s a Peace and Safety Fair hosted by the Center for Racial Harmony. Had a long conversation with the director, someone I know from my past life. That felt good, too.

I know, baby steps. But those little accomplishments feel so insignificant.

Differentiating myself

I am enough. I know it but have to help others see it, too. I just signed up for another series of workshops, some basic, How to start a non-profit, How to manage your startup, but also an advanced initial one identifying oneself as a minority owned business. I have to recognize that I AM a minority as a woman who has a significant disability and am a survivor. So, it’s time to get knowledge from others. It’s time to use my time more constructively.