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The problem with normal 

is that there is no ‘normal’ but nobody tells you that until you get beaten down. We are measured from conception: ow much weight our moms gain in the pregnancy 

How much weight our moms gain in the pregnancy 

How far along when she first felt movement 

Birth weight 

Length

What percentile all the way through childhood 

Only to be replaced by:

Grades

Conduct

Standardized tests

President’s Physical Fitness Test

Number of friends on and off the Web

Age when you reached puberty 

Age when you had your first date

Age when you ‘lost it’

SAT or ACT score

Number of colleges you were accepted into

Number of bedrooms, bathrooms in your first house

Numbers of numbers before the decimal point in your career

Bust size–female 

Penis size–male

AND SO ON AND ON AND ON AND…..

It seems to never end! Well now I find myself competing from an entirely different space–physical disability.  

At my last job I worked for a Center for Inde Living, a CIL. The mission of a CIL is empower people who have a disability live productively in the community. At the time I still walked, with a walker. As I left I had graduated to a scooter. (I have since moved on down the transportation line)  What is strange there was that I worked with several guys who were incomplete quads. They used to tell me how sorry they felt for ME because I was still trying. YIKES! Was I a failure in the disability world?

There are so many ways to look at life and I feel that I am always judging everyone and everything. Is the sidewalk smooth? Do I ‘look’ disabled? Should I ask for help? Accept offered help? Do it by myself so I remain more independent? Ignore the activity altogether? 

I have not made the ‘transition’ gracefully. I guess that sums it up the best. 

But, if I did have a magic wand I think there is something that I would love to do. Anyone who feels the need to tell me that, ‘God doesn’t give you more than you can handle!’ would get the opportunity to live my life for a day. No, actually a week. See how the world fakes being assessible. See how it feels to have the ‘atta girl’ looks. Wonder why people run to get around you and then slow down. Get all the well intended advice–‘don’t get used to the lift chair, use your muscles’ & ‘you had better learn how to conserve your energy’. (Both said to me by the same physical therapist a few days apart) Get invited to something but have no idea how to get there. 
Yes, I would give them just that. A chance to be me. And then, after the week, I would love to sit together and grade each other’s experience. I have to believe that, if a person truly tries to understand, there would be much more efforts made to adapt. 

In the end, I also think that I would see the strength I have. That I have always had.

Author:

Life coach, social worker, woman, mom, newly (dis)abled, learning to live

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